Are you a stressed parent? Parenting can be rewarding and joyful.
 
It can give us an opportunity to grow along with our children and become participants in the wonder of childhood. When our children get excited by the beauty of nature or entertainment value of pots and pans we are reminded of how much “magic” exists in our lives.
 
Except when it isn’t.
 
However, the day-to-day rushing around from one place to another; the constant balancing of work, family, and personal time can feel more overwhelming than magical. T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. long ago considered a leading authority on child development, characterized the relationship between parent and child as a dance, where each partner must be attuned to the movements and needs of the other. The only problem is that sometimes it feels as though you and your child are either dancing to different beats or just plain stepping on each other’s toes.
 
What factors contribute to parent-child discord?
 
Many factors can contribute to discord between parent and child. Factors such as long-term illness in the family, a new job, a recent move, change in financial circumstances or a new addition to the family can all have an effect on the parent-child bond. Often families are so caught up in the moment that it is very difficult for them to re-establish (or in some cases, establish) a feeling of harmony between parents and their children.
 
All relationships, including the parent-child relationship, have challenges. The most important thing to know is where to get help when one’s ability to discern problems becomes clouded by daily routines and stress. If you find you do not enjoy time spent with your child, or if you feel you can’t understand your child, or you simply feel you are stepping on each other’s toes, you may find another perspective helpful.
 
What can I expect when I see Yvonne?
 
Yvonne creates a sensitive and respectful environment where parents feel they can be heard.

Working together with the parents, Yvonne develops a program tailored to the specific needs of each parent-child relationship. Some aspects of the program may include helping parents become more aware of their child’s individual needs, helping everyone in the family react less emotionally and listen more deeply to one another, and promoting more confidence and understanding in both parents and children.

With the ARC program developed by Dr. Margaret Blaustein and Kristine Kinniburgh, LICSW children and parents are taught techniques to work with each other and begin to really understand what is happening in their lives. This is a flexible program designed to help children and parents with Attachment, Self Regulation and Competency. This program is age appropriate and has differing levels of intervention for each age group.

What is the Parent Stress Inventory (PSI)?
 
Sometimes it is necessary to administer a PSI...a psychometric tool designed to help parents distinguish areas in which there may be some need for readjustment in their relationship with their children.The PSI identifies seven characteristic areas of the functioning of typical parents: social isolation, spousal support, sense of competence, restriction of parental role, attachment, depression and general health.
 
The PSI also identifies and measures characteristic areas of functioning in typical children, as perceived by the parent, in the following areas: adaptability, demandingness, mood, distractibility, hyperactivity, and need for reinforcement. (Richard R. Abidere, EdD, Psychological Assessment Resources, Inc.).
 
How does the PSI help?

Each of the characteristic areas of functioning on the PSI carries with it implications for the parent-child bond. Once identified, we know where to focus to create positive change.Parenting when parents and/or children are suffering from chronic or debilitating diseases or physical or cognitive challenges.

Trauma

Trauma Processing and the Timing of Phase-Oriented Treatment
 
Beginning with Janet (1890’s) the treatment of trauma has involved some type of phase protocol. Research in this area has concluded that patients must first feel safe and secure before they can begin to process the trauma that has taken over their lives. In fact, post 9/11 this type of treatment was put to the test. Talking directly about a trauma before the patient feels safe may be re-traumatizing and may actually harm the patient. Therefore, the course of treatment is very important to the outcome. The first phase of treatment is safety and stabilization.

Time is taken to work with the patient and develop resource skills to help with overwhelming feelings and thoughts. 

Defenses are identified and explored and new techniques to help patients with their feelings of being overwhelmed are discussed and taught. Ms. Bregman believes that much of the work at this stage is psychoeducation; informing the patient about what is happening in their body and brain and why. Once patients understand why their body is feeling the way it is and how to diminish some of those feelings the patient can begin to look at the second stage of trauma treatment: Treating the Traumatic Memory.Of course careful assessment and diagnosis of the trauma is arrived at by clinical observation, a biopsychosocial history, and psychometric instruments. During the second stage bits of the traumatic material are brought up and processed using a variety of methods, such as Sensorimotor psychotherapy, some cognitive behavioral therapy and other modalities. 

Treatment of trauma is not a linear process. Thus, one memory may evoke another memory like a complicated spider’s web. Carefully unraveling the web, will help the patient gain mastery over distressing symptoms. The patient gains new insights into how memories are recorded and gains new tools to help manage troubling thoughts.
The last phase of treatment in this approach is: Integration of traumatic material in one’s life. Treatment does not erase traumatic memories, rather it makes them less activating. For example, if prior to treatment any reminder of a traumatic event brought forth overwhelming memories of the incident, this work would help keep the memories in check. You recall that it was not pleasant, but you are not reliving every moment of the memory in terror.

“During flashbacks or re-living of past trauma, integrated cognitive processing is inhibited, and the person temporarily loses the capacity to recognize that the present reality is safe. Instead, he or she identifies the sensations of hyper arousal and the impulse for physical action as indicators of danger. This……Hijacking (Goldman, 1995) is a frequent source of daily life problems and self blame for trauma survivors who have difficulty evaluating the current relevance of sensations of arousal and impulses evoked by reminders of the trauma (Brewing et al.,) They are unable to keep events at a critical distance in order to reflect on them, which engenders a sense of instability, loss of control, psychological incompetence, and a lack of confidence to cope with daily life. “I should be over this” or “I must be crazy” are two common complaints of traumatized patients, stemming from the conviction that they are psychologically inadequate rather than functioning with sensor motor systems that are primed for threat and reacting to danger long since over (Allen, 2001). Ogden, P. “Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute: trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy” pg. 22.

Imagine trying to make sense of anything while running away from a lion. Well, that is what your body is experiencing when it is trapped in a trauma “loop”. Every part of your body and brain are screaming “RUN” and you can’t. Instead you remain frozen. This contradiction is a hallmark of trauma. It is the incomplete nature of the resolution of the trauma. Only through work on both the body and the mind can a true sense of resolution be achieved.

Ms. Bregman’s work aims to integrate both cognitive (mind) treatments of trauma with sensory or body treatments. Breath work, some yoga and sensor motor work, and hypnosis are all elements of the latter. Each treatment protocol is designed to work specifically with the needs of each patient in a research informed and thorough manner.